Pregnancy…reality check

Yep, that’s right I need to write myself a slight reality check.

 

Hello belly button

 

I LOVED being pregnant, after the initial morning sickness / nausea’s feelings passed it was just the most amazing experience of my life.  Growing a person, 10 toes, 10 fingers…you know the drill but when you think, and I mean really think about it for 9 months out babies grew (like little parasites I was once heard to say) from cells to tiny beings, their hearts beating inside us.  Just amazing, and I don’t care how corny it sounds it truly is a miraculous and incredible experience.

However, to stop me getting broody (or just help to remove those rose-tinted glasses) and inspired by the wonderful Hannah @ make, Do and push! who wrote this wonderful post I am writing a list of things that did really annoy me about being knocked up!

  1. Booze. Or lack there of…in summer it means no large glass of chilled wine or no huge jug of pimms and a straw. Winter, no full and ripe red wines, mulled wine or copious amounts of bubbly come the festive season. Also means no beer (or five) with a curry or mexican.  Obviously you can partake in the odd glass, but me I wasn’t willing to risk it. Meaning after what feels like being pregnant forever means my hard earned drinking abilities are gone, and I’m left tipsy or with a headache after just half a beer or glass of wine. Gah.
  2. Designated driver. Yep, because of above. Thanks. Again.
  3. Cheese!! Amongst other things, yes pate and Rare steaks I’m talking about you. Never before have I craved pate or stinky moldy cheese so much.  Luckily I moaned so much about it when I was preggers I was lucky enough to receive copious amounts of both…yaye!
  4. Maintenance. Ok, not for the first few months but by the time 6/7 months comes around unless you have a well behaved (!) other half bye toenails see you when the baby is, hmmmm 1 year old and I have some time  to paint you.  And the lady garden…seriously neglected, again unless you TRUST your other half to behave it’s kind of a no go (self maintenance wise anyway) I did have an immac related disasster…but we won’t go there 😉
  5. Maternity Clothes. Er highstreet…sort it out. Please. I loved ASOS’s maternity range but found the highstreet sorely lacking and all that was there was majorly overpriced in my opinion.  That and the fact that I’m tall really made shopping fun.
  6. Sense of smell / taste. Mine went into overdrive, things that I normally loved made me have severe gag reflex and near vomiting experiences, for example; Rotisseri chickens in supermarkets, generally a good smell, first pregnancy I couldn’t go anywhere near the part of the shop with them in without dry heaving, no joke, my Mum found this hilarious when shopping with me. Second time round it was mushrooms. Yep, seriously just the though of them had me yacking, couldn’t go near them in the veg aisle, wouldn’t have them in the house and if my long suffering husband even suggested them for dinner I would heave in his face (involuntarily I might add!! Why? No idea and neither of them bother me now at all. (thankfully)
  7. Cuddles. Or lack there of, again this is a 3rd trimester thing but I was so all out front with both of mine that cuddles were a no go, even with Bean!!!
  8. Sleep. Pregnancy insomnia. CHECK. Leg cramps whilst sleeping. CHECK. Needing to pee 45 billion times a night. CHECK. Not being able to get comfy. CHECK. I love to lie on my tummy to sleep, obviously with one in the oven, that ain’t happening, so my nighttime fidgets got worse and worse. On several occasions I made my hubby sleep at the bottom of our bed instead of the top as I was adamant it was more comfortable. (like I said, long suffering!!)
  9. Chivalry. And no, I’m not talking about giving up seats, I mean the well meaning people who think pregnancy is some kind of illness leaving you incapable of many of life’s day to day going’s on.  I may sound a little rude, but as someone who is ridiculously independent this did not go down well with me. No pleasing some people.
  10. Baby Movements. WAIT, don’t shoot me yet. Yes, the majority of them I loved but the ones where it looked like my precious passenger was trying to escape via my belly button…not so much. Alien like to say the least.
  11. Hormones. Specifically making me cry.  Before I knew I was pregnant second time round I could not stop crying at the news Whitney Houston had passed away, don’t get me wrong she was a very talented lady but I never knew I liked her that much, I am serious when I say I could not stop crying it was awful…and then I found out I was pregnant, now I get it!
  12. And the brucey bonus…My belly button. I have an outy, so as you are no doubt aware pregnancy made it a literal button for the world to see, didn’t bother me in the least (amused me greatly if I am perfectly honest) but when people tried to push it!!! No no no no no. 10 times worse than random people touching your belly. ewww.

There won’t be a corresponding things I loved post because there were hundreds of them and I would be pregnant again in no time.

Painful. (in more ways than one)

Friday marked the last day of breastfeeding for me.  As last time it is bittersweet, I know the reasons I decided to stop and I know it is the right decision, my little Bites is still her happy little self.  Me on the other hand I am walking around looking like Dolly Parton and in a lot of pain with my giant rock hard full up boobs. Sigh.

I cried, I’ll admit it Friday night I lay in bed whilst my hubby sat beside me giving Bites her 11ish feed, that was it, I knew there would be no more chest dives and wood peckering at my boobs if I was a bit slow and I was so so sad.  I have been very lucky with my breastfeeding experiences second time round I avoided cracked nipples and it was all plain sailing, she was a very efficient girl from the start the only thing that she took her time with was latching which meant a lot of milk getting sprayed in her face 😉

Sad also because in all likelyness it’s something I won’t be experiencing again, she was my last baby and I am proud to say I sustained her for 6 months, some might say too long others not enough.  But that’s the thing with breastfeeding isn’t it, everyone and their Uncle has an opinion and no one is shy about giving it…whether you asked or not.  I really wish people (NHS that’s you) would give the HONEST information, I still maintain that’s why so many of us backdown early.  That and the conflicting advice you get from each and every person you see.
In the last week I have seen two amazing posts on breastfeeding on two brilliant blogs Here and Here and it’s so nice to see the honesty, its refreshing, revealing but ultimately relieving, personally I know how hard it is and how much you feel like giving up, dreading that hungry cry because you know it’s going to hurt, sitting in the bath with two great big melons stuck to your chest milk streaming everywhere, being the only one that can sate your childs appetite. Yes, it’s a binding thing but it’s also amazing…noone but you can quench that thirst, you can proudly say that however long you stick in there that you and you alone grew your baby for X weeks / months.  IT IS BEAUTIFUL, and I don’t care what anyone in our over sexed over exposed world says it is natural 100% and rewarding as hell.

So, I could go on writing and writing about this subject because I feel so strongly about it but I won’t because I am bound to get ranty!

If you have a story please share, good or bad, I ♥ breastfeeding stories and only wish more people shared their experiences I think word of mouth and the truth is the only way we can truly understand it and hopefully help more of us choose to at least try it.

Loving Them

Them. My two gorgeous girls, gorgeous inside and out.

My two tiny miracles, not medically (unless you count being on the pill both times and under investigation for PCOS first time) but because i never knew i wanted them, never knew I would need them, I would NEVER have been ready to try for a family.
So Bean my happy accident and Bites who we would have tried for October ish instead if having her in October.

I have never questioned my love for, Bean it came hard and fast although not immediately. Not when I saw her lifted from me, not when she was placed onto my chest and certainly not while I was being manhandled during the first breast feeds. That first helpless night, legs still not working (thanks spinal block and catheter) and on an over stuffed under staffed ward I spent the night just me and her, her all tiny and permanently famished tucked inside my hospital issue gown me bewildered and beguiled by this tiny creature. By morning light I knew I would and could do anything for her. I called her my crack baby because I could not get enough of her, charming right?

I thought it would come easier second time round, and I have been beating myself up ever since because it has taken longer for it to come, or has taken me longer to notice it? I don’t know which all I know is that up until this week I have been beating myself up about it.  Feeling like she deserves better than me and that I wasn’t a good enough Mum for her, that I don’t know her well enough and I should nearly 5 months in I should know her, she’s my baby after all.

And then it hit me.  I do love her, I adore her with all of my being.  I do know what she wants and needs, and I have known it all along it’s just I have been putting other things ahead of it and then getting frustrated when she ‘moans’.  My priorities were all over the place and I was forgetting to enjoy her and this week I have enjoyed her for the amazing, individual sweet little thing she is.  And my love for her cannon balled me and i can’t believe she is five whole months old tomorrow, craziness.

I feel like a weight has been lifted even though I know it’s perfectly normal for the love to take a while, not everyone gets that rush the second they leave your uterus and are placed screaming, angry, bloody, cold and sacred in your arms and that’s ok, really it is.  It does not make you a bad Mum it makes your normal, despite the press.

 

Time.

My husband has been away ALL week on a stupid work conference, and I have missed him so especially as we have barely been able to snatch 5 seconds to talk.

But, my piglet and nutjob have kept me entertained and very busy this week…Bites has started to really enjoy weaning, destroying banana mashed with porridge and either butternut, sweet potaot and pear mixed toegtehr for her tea, and Bean…what can I say, she is hilarious.  I know I’m her Mum so it’s a given I will say that but she has whole rooms under her spell these days, for example the dreaded chicken pox is about and she suddenly developed spots on her bum (shes not a nappy rash girl) then more appeared over night so off we went to the drs to get them checked out, we walked in the waiting room and she repeatedly declared

“Doctors going to check my spotty bum”

Needless to say the full waiting room enjoyed that one.

My absolute favourite thing about this week however is the bond developing between them, after an hour in a freezing park, fun had by all the rain was starting so we trundled back to the car where they were loaded in, Bites began to cry, I still had the hound & pushchair to load at this point so her plight had to be ignored. By the time I had folded the buggy I could hear lauging, I peaked into the car from the boot to discover them playing peek-a-boo and laughing hysterically, this continued all the way home.  Made my day, no, made my life. Was just perfect, apart from the one person I wanted most to share it with not being able to answer his phone whilst the giggling was occuring.
image

Looking back

So a new year has begun.

2012 was the year I got to become a mummy again. I’m not going to lie, it was tough. A much tougher pregnancy, and I was extremely hard on myself, beating myself up a lot of the time because I was just too tired or too uncomfortable to function as I wanted to. I felt like I wasn’t being a good enough Mum to Bean because I couldn’t play with her properly, Jeez by July I couldn’t bath or lift her in or out of her cot comfortably let alone cuddle her as Bites was transverse. It was heart breaking for me and I felt if I spoke to anyone about it they would laugh at me, or think it was trivial, but it really upset me.

In the end, I got to have my natural birth 🙂

I turned 28 and had yet another birthday sober – no more I tell you.  And I got my hair chopped off.

Me and Bean on my birthday

Me and Bean on my birthday

I celebrated my first wedding anniversary, planned by my amazing husband and was a complete surprise – The Hand & Flowers, the food was amazing!  I can’t wait to go back again and get my fois gras on (I was preggers and therefore only had the tiniest of tastes..!)

Dodgy iPhone pic of the Fois Gras

Dodgy iPhone pic of the Fois Gras

Raspberry Souffle. Ahhh yeh

Raspberry Souffle. Ahhh yeh

Builders Tea - yes please.

Builders Tea – yes please.

I cooked a lot, tried new recipes and got my bake on, I’m hoping to expand on this in 2013.

yum

I realised that being a Mum is by far the most incredible, terrifying, fun and exhausting thing I have ever undertaken and I love it more and more everyday.  Except for the days when they both need to cry all day for no unfathomable reason, well to me anyway.  And along with that realisation came the thought that I am proud of being a mum, and that is something I never ever thought I would feel.

I’m looking forward to seeing what this year has to bring, hopefully no pregnancies!!

 

#JanuaryJoy – Monday Mani

So today’s #JanuaryJoy is Manicure (or pedicure!) and it’s one I won’t be participating in.

First and fore-mostly because I cannot stand the way nail varnish feels on my nails!! Is this just me, surely it can’t be?! I love nail varnish don’t get me wrong, seeing the latest colours and trends always intrigues me but I know they won’t be gracing my digits anytime soon.

Whether painted by me or a professional the stuff will not stay on my nails for long, infact I had a mani and pedi done professionally as a birthday treat once and I’d literally been ‘dry’ for seconds when I smudged a nail a mere hour or two later I had chipped another nail, base coat smashhhcoat makes no difference to the staying power when it comes to me. And since the offsprings arrival it stands even less of a chance what with the constant hand washing 😜

Shape. I have man hands! There’s no getting away from it, my nails ain’t exactly on the feminine side and painting the buggers a glossy hue just draws more attention to them and (to me anyway) high lights their bad shape.

However, some manage to keep the stuff on and have beautiful shaped nails on which they can display the trends be them classic and chic or high fashion and fabulous and I envy them sooooo much. But you can’t have everything right?! So this is one I can’t wait to peruse on other people’s blogs to see what they make of it!

Enjoy nail lovelies!

#JanuaryJoy – Skin Care Overhaul

Boy did I need this one!!

I’ve never been a make up person, don’t get me wrong I do wear it on special occasions but not for everyday so thank god my lack of skin care up until now hasn’t caused major havoc. That said, this year I am on the hunt for some quick make up everyday basics to stop me looking like a sleep deprived tramp…its very disconcerting being the un put together Mummy who most definitely looks like she isn’t getting enough sleep. (I don’t actually feel tired most days, I think the past 6 months of averaging 5 hours sleep has made my body think its normal!!)

Anyway, I digress. I got some lovely treats for Xmas that are on their way to making me feel and hopefully look a lot better.

First stop – LUSH! I got a ‘Fizz-Tank’ with the Avo, Blackberry and Raspberry bombs in, having never tried one i was a bit sceptical but I am happy to say I am a convert! The Avo one was just immense, it turned the water a very tropical green and smelt amazing, and no I didn’t get out of the bath smelling like guacamole!! Northern Lights soap is now also a firm fave, it smells incredible, cleans my skin beautifully and looks so awesome. (I do need to find a soap dish tho as my bathroom sink is currently looking a bit radioactive!) I plan to fizz myself into oblivion once a week, to relax, chill and hopefully listen to some new tunes!!

Nightcream. Well I am cracking on a bit now and this wonder from the bodyshop not only smells great, but I can feel it making a difference. It’s lovely and thick and my skin just feels wonderful when I put it on and still feels great in the morning.
I use Olay 7 signs day cream and I love it so I’ll be carrying on with that! I’ve been using this on my stretch marks, despite moisturising like I did first time round I didn’t manage to avoid them however this really is making a difference as is this wonder product from kelcotethst I’ve started using on my section scar. It’s made an unbelievable difference already, it’s much smoother and less red in only a month.
I really think exfoliating once a week is great for your skin, helping to banish a dull and tired looking complexion so I’ll
be digging out the old faithful St Ives Scrub. In the morning I’m sticking to trusty a trusty hot cloth to wake my skin up and a big splash of cold water to revitalise and close those pores.

It’s just eyecream left to find, the ol’ vaseline just isn’t doing what it used to!!

Oh, I also got the most wonderful scented candles – Lavender & Geranium from Sainsburys of all places – the lavender is just right and they are so relaxing, just right for whiling a good half hour away in the bath!

And my last is actually a bit random but, you know how this time of year your lips get all dry and cracked from a combination of bad weather and central heating? Anyone who has have breastfed will know of this little beaut not only is it a life saver for cracked nipples it work wonders for dry lips! Slick a bit on at bedtime and wake up with a luscious pout come alarm time! Multitasking wonder product I tell you!!

all opinions are of course my own, I haven’t been told to say any of this and products were purchased by or for me and not from the brands themselves. That said, I really hope to use a few more products from The Bodyshop & LUSH! as I really like their company ethos & philosophy…and they smell good enough to eat, always a winner in my book 😀