SAHM Wardrobe

Skinny jeans. Remember when you could by a pair and not worry about the fact that your arse might pop out the top when you bent over because well you didn’t really bend over to reach things that much? And you didn’t have to worry about the material getting permanent knee marks in and then going baggy at the knee and everywhere else?!

Jewellery. Dangley earings that didn’t put you at risk of looking like Mike Tyson was an acquaintance because no-one even attempted to tug them out of your lobe? necklaces could be worn without threat of strangulation?!

Image of Plum Daisy Tessellate Necklace

My children would literally have sensory overload at this

Tops cut anywhere near your cleavage line. Nope, no one (in their right mind) is going to grab that and pull it down to reveal my barely filled bra.

Mamas, you get what I’m saying right? I am just about surviving my first summer (fashion wise) not breastfeeding and not pregnant, I can lived in shorts and t-shirts and the odd maxi here and there. Autumn and winter are not going to be my friend! Firstly does ANYONE (seriously now) know of a pair of reasonably priced (being the key word here, we have two children and one income supporting us and quite enough debt to be getting on with already thank you kindly)skinny jeans that don’t sag after one wash / one play group / playdate?! I love skinny jeans, I however cannot get on with leggings the reason being is I am blessed which I mean sincerely a large arse, I like it leggings don’t. FACT. And yes, I know they should be a staple of my wardrobe with a long length t-shirt etc but as well as being large of arse I am tall which means something that is long line on you will be regular non arse and non camel toe covering to me, and for that reason me and leggings will never be fashion friends…I do not feel comfortable with it all out there. So I need jean finding help.

Bershka Belts, Chanel Bags, Palazzo Zara Pants, Topshop Cardigans | "ROME" by MadameDeRosa - Chictopia

Palazzo Pants – Will I ever have a reason to wear you?!

Actually I generally need some wardrobe staples advice, practical (yes yes I know that word lends vision of frumpy not fashion forward but I intend to be crawling, jumping, running, baking, cleaning and no doubt having food smushed into it as some point during each and every day) functional but fashionable, not pretty as that just ain’t me!

My shape, like all of us post baby has changed, and I am not referring to weight here but my body shape has actually changed, things I used to adore to wear just don’t look right anymore but unlike my pre child days I rarely have the time / chance to go clothes shopping and trying them on is just ridiculous, one change room, one mummy and one double pushchair is not a fun equation and it’s not that my kids are well behaved it’s the fact that unless there is a disable change room (few and far between round me, which is bad for me but worse for people with a disability, come on equality peeps get on it their need is slightly more imperative than mine) it basically means I block the aisle / hall with my pushchair nad then have to get down to my skivvies with the curtain either open or draped precariously round the pushchair which then obviously elicits the best game of peek a boo my children have ever had, cue raucous laughter and a lack of concentrating from me. Fun. So yeh, I could internet shop but then if it doesn’t fit I have to return it which means a trip to my local post office which is tiny, not pushchair friendly meaning I have to go in with a child in each hand / arm leaving my gob for the package I need to return…goodbye teeth.

Everyday Mum Wear

I guess this look is what I have in my head it’s having the time and money to shop for it.

Mummy readers and Tall chiccas if you are out there, help. Best skinny jeans and mummy wardrobe basics recommendations at the ready please…I neeeed to get my identity back now I am no longer preggers and no longer an office worker what’s your day-to-day element proof uniform?  It’s funny, before children I never put that much thought into my wardrobe or thought as my clothes as giving me and identity, since becoming a Mum it’s like I need something, just one thing that reminds me who I was before I became the nappy changing, puke cleaning, toy tidying play machine…and having my name!!!

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“Parenting”

I had seen a lot of buzz recently about this book ‘French Children Don’t Throw Food‘ and thought I would give it a read.  Don’t get me wrong, my children aren’t angels to any degree but one thing I can always rely on is their appetite, Bean has loved food from her first taste of butternut puree and Bites although a little hesitant to start never fails to amaze me at what and how much she can put away bearing in mind she has NO teeth…9 months old and nada.

Friday 4

Anyway, I digress (as usual!) as I said Bean has always loved food and I can hands down say I have never cooked anything that she wouldn’t eat, the stronger the flavour the better in all honesty. Cue our family trip to South Africa earlier this you to introduce the girls to the rest of the family, and suddenly getting her to eat became a Task, rather than something that just happened naturally, and it was every meal, obviously we were worried she was ill to start with and also worried about her waking up or generally just starving but she maintained the eating little routine for the entire 3 weeks, bar a 3 helping round of Jamie Oliver’s pregnant Jools Pasta, a somewhat staple in this house that thankfully my FIL also loved to make. At first we tried to bribe and coerce her into eating but after 2 days I decide to let her run with it, going by the thinking that if and when she was hungry she will eat…which she did albeit it sporadically but also random non meals.

My husband was beside himself, I was trying not to let it bother me too much but it did you can’t help but worry at such a drastic change in your child’s behavour. I am still not 100% as to what bought it on, the heat, the constant stimulation (cousins running round and TV on 24/7) or perhaps it was just the only thing she could control when everything as she knew it had changed – she was sleeping in a room by herself that she had never seen before and in a double bed and she was as good as gold so for that we thanked our stars…I think sleeping randomly trumps eating randomly I could not have coped with anymore interrupted sleep at that point especially as her sister was still waking for a night feed or two.

However, upon returning home she was back to her old ways, thankfully. But more recently it has become a battle at meals times, how much of it is my own making I’m not sure – my girls go to bed earlyish Bites @ 6.05 and Bean after the night garden (which I record incase its a bad day and she goes to bed earlier @ 6.20) so my evening schedule is a bit rushed, Bites eats no later than 4.30 as a general rule but that is too early for Bean but most days she wants to eat then with her sister and I am not joking it is SUCH a process, we can easily spend an hour at the table as she chats and faffs her way thought the meal, asking me to feed her when she is more than capable or wanting to sit on my lap and I know the reason is because I am feeding her sister so obviously she is getting less attention from me, but I can’t wait to give Bean her dinner when her sister is in bed it’s just too late (they are early risers so late bedtime means she would still wake the same time and be grumpy all day, not my idea of fun) so in the end I have to cut her meal time short and get them in the bath…but I can’t help but worry that she is not eating enough. I have cut out her afternoon snacks to make sure she is hungry enough to eat in a more concentrated manner althewhile I have this niggly feeling that really she still needs her afternoon snack as toddlers calorific needs are so great and she is always busy busy busy.

The other thing is potty training…she got it so quickly and so well I was flabbergasted and then 10 days a go poo-gate began. No telling me she needed to go even if I asked her and then just doing it, in her knickers, on the floor…it is driving me crazy we even had a poo painted bed (it was nap time to be fair to her and it leaked out the top of the pull up so she was obviously intrigued and touched it) but I am at a loss for how to deal with it – the shouting hasn’t worked, neither has telling the poo off(!) and asking her all the time just gets her (understandably) irate.

So, I am giving this book a go to see if the French have insights to offer on the matter, it’s my first foray into parenting books / advice I’ve always trusted my gut and when really panicked looked to the best known parenting sites on the web – NM & MN and I think that was pretty much in the breastfeeding days anyway…

But, dear reader if you have any advice or amazing resource I should know about please please share..or just let me know I’m not alone. (or have you read the book – what did you think?)

Things I NEVER seem to get round to doing.

Sigh.

Its not just me is it?  I have a stack of books gathering dust beside my bed, countless recipes slowly but surely passing through the holes in my brain like flour through a sieve to only be remembered via instagram, forms becoming more crumpled and dog eared and lets face it toddler fodder before I actually get round to filing them away or taking them to their destinations, photos printed but never hung and blog posts that never leave my internal notepad.

Why?

I’m tired.  Lazy and decidedly unmotivated once my youngest is asleep I just want to vegetate on the sofa but by the time I’ve made, eaten and cleaned up dinner, sorted washing (blergh) tidied toddler mayhem and attempted some quality time with the husband its into bed I collapse exhausted and a stretch to have a made 10pm, I know rock and roll!

How do I find that elusive balance so I can get some me time? I always start with such grand plans but every eventuality ends up with me lying in bed frustrated because I’ve

failed

again.  Or as seems to be the case more and more over the last fortnight feeling like a terrible mother.  I find myself being short and angry, which obviously doesn’t help when dealing with little people, I’d go so far as to say it actually makes the situation worse…big time.  And yet I struggle to stop myself and at the end of the day berrate myself to the point of loathing.

I can’t stand to feel like this anymore my children deserve better and think I do to.  I am going to try my utmost to get that balance, I need it and ultimately my family need me to find it to so I can get back to being a good Mum.

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Look at them? They deserve a good Mummy.

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And these recipes need writing!!

Newborns. What the books (and everyone else) don’t tell you

During pregnancy you tend to get a lot of people telling you a lot of stories, some birth horror stories and lots of people telling you how well-behaved their babies were, or some other nugget of wisdom (rusk in the bottle anyone?!)Even my midwife told us in Parent Craft / Antenatal an utter load of crap about somethings.  SIGH.  You expect them to be the one decent source of information out there, after your Mum obviously but even she sometimes can get those rose-tinted shades on!

Butter wouldn't melt...

Butter wouldn’t melt…

So here is my guide to babies…only from my experiences, I’m not about to write a book 😉

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Working Girl

Why do we (women, sorry for the generalisations but I’m going on experiences here) struggle to be pleased for each other when things are going well?

I went into work for the day last week and was chuffed to find a colleague had been given a new role in the company – a much, much needed organisation type role and she literally could not be more perfect for the position. Finally I thought to myself, thinking everyone would think the same.

Wrong.

She’s rubbing it in my face

She asked for a title, wouldn’t do it without one

Doing my head in talking about it all the time

Jealousy? Bitterness? I don’t know, I was just so dissapoined, especially as I had been in a similar situation a few years back when I was the only women ever on a male dominated firm/industry to get such a decent promotion & perks package…were my other girlie collegues happy for me? Were they fuck.

I knew you were liked, I didn’t realise howmuch

errm, actually I’m just pretty dammed awesome at my job, but thanks for the cynicism muchly appreciated.

And it happens all the time. I want my daughter to grow up and know that she can achieve anything she sets her mind to and that I will be with her and supporting her 110%, but I’m just going to be her Mum.

It’s bad enough that women are still on a different pay scale to men, but when we can’t even support each other how can we really moan about this, we need to believe in each other completely and the and only then will everything else follow.

Change

Today I am taking my gorgeous little Bandit for her first settling in session at the childminders and I am feeling very melancholy this morning because of it.

I am going to miss being with her every day more than I thought possible! Just the thought not seeing her eat her lunch is enough to bring me to tears this morning!

I know in the long run it’s for the best and I may be being a bit of a drama queen as I am lucky enough to be going back part time (!) so she will only be with the minder for 6 hours twice a week…it’s just the thought of not being with her 😦