Helloooooo Early Starts

Anyone else out there STILL not getting enough sleep?

When the hell will I acclimatise to this s**t?! I mean, if I count the sleep deprivation that began in pregnancy its been going on 5 years, I am sure i read somewhere that to form a new habit you need to do something for 30 days SO COME ON BODY CLOCK get with the programme already.

Back to my point, it had been one of those days, you must know the ones I mean:


  • Circa 7am start

  • Feed the small people and various other dependants (fish, chickens, dog, husband…ok I turned on the coffee machine for the later, but still )
  • Unload the dishwasher / repair carnage from late night binge waffle and tea fest
  • Pick up phone to begin the host of important phone calls while the offspring aren’t trying to destroy each other…

And there in lies the problem, its 7.45am and no where is open to field those calls, why oh why! By the time 9am rolls round I will be onto caffeine related beverage no 4 at least, one sprog will be wailing that they want the specific toy the other one has and only that will do whilst the other is tearing around the house with a gleeful expression only borne by a child who knows their behaviour is causing their sibling utter heartbreak and you just know if you press that green dial button the screams will start the second the hold music stops.

And breathe…..

Someone purleease open phones lines early, just for us Mums.

Coffee and a Waffle

SAHM Wardrobe

Skinny jeans. Remember when you could by a pair and not worry about the fact that your arse might pop out the top when you bent over because well you didn’t really bend over to reach things that much? And you didn’t have to worry about the material getting permanent knee marks in and then going baggy at the knee and everywhere else?!

Jewellery. Dangley earings that didn’t put you at risk of looking like Mike Tyson was an acquaintance because no-one even attempted to tug them out of your lobe? necklaces could be worn without threat of strangulation?!

Image of Plum Daisy Tessellate Necklace

My children would literally have sensory overload at this

Tops cut anywhere near your cleavage line. Nope, no one (in their right mind) is going to grab that and pull it down to reveal my barely filled bra.

Mamas, you get what I’m saying right? I am just about surviving my first summer (fashion wise) not breastfeeding and not pregnant, I can lived in shorts and t-shirts and the odd maxi here and there. Autumn and winter are not going to be my friend! Firstly does ANYONE (seriously now) know of a pair of reasonably priced (being the key word here, we have two children and one income supporting us and quite enough debt to be getting on with already thank you kindly)skinny jeans that don’t sag after one wash / one play group / playdate?! I love skinny jeans, I however cannot get on with leggings the reason being is I am blessed which I mean sincerely a large arse, I like it leggings don’t. FACT. And yes, I know they should be a staple of my wardrobe with a long length t-shirt etc but as well as being large of arse I am tall which means something that is long line on you will be regular non arse and non camel toe covering to me, and for that reason me and leggings will never be fashion friends…I do not feel comfortable with it all out there. So I need jean finding help.

Bershka Belts, Chanel Bags, Palazzo Zara Pants, Topshop Cardigans | "ROME" by MadameDeRosa - Chictopia

Palazzo Pants – Will I ever have a reason to wear you?!

Actually I generally need some wardrobe staples advice, practical (yes yes I know that word lends vision of frumpy not fashion forward but I intend to be crawling, jumping, running, baking, cleaning and no doubt having food smushed into it as some point during each and every day) functional but fashionable, not pretty as that just ain’t me!

My shape, like all of us post baby has changed, and I am not referring to weight here but my body shape has actually changed, things I used to adore to wear just don’t look right anymore but unlike my pre child days I rarely have the time / chance to go clothes shopping and trying them on is just ridiculous, one change room, one mummy and one double pushchair is not a fun equation and it’s not that my kids are well behaved it’s the fact that unless there is a disable change room (few and far between round me, which is bad for me but worse for people with a disability, come on equality peeps get on it their need is slightly more imperative than mine) it basically means I block the aisle / hall with my pushchair nad then have to get down to my skivvies with the curtain either open or draped precariously round the pushchair which then obviously elicits the best game of peek a boo my children have ever had, cue raucous laughter and a lack of concentrating from me. Fun. So yeh, I could internet shop but then if it doesn’t fit I have to return it which means a trip to my local post office which is tiny, not pushchair friendly meaning I have to go in with a child in each hand / arm leaving my gob for the package I need to return…goodbye teeth.

Everyday Mum Wear

I guess this look is what I have in my head it’s having the time and money to shop for it.

Mummy readers and Tall chiccas if you are out there, help. Best skinny jeans and mummy wardrobe basics recommendations at the ready please…I neeeed to get my identity back now I am no longer preggers and no longer an office worker what’s your day-to-day element proof uniform?  It’s funny, before children I never put that much thought into my wardrobe or thought as my clothes as giving me and identity, since becoming a Mum it’s like I need something, just one thing that reminds me who I was before I became the nappy changing, puke cleaning, toy tidying play machine…and having my name!!!

Going bare.

I have two lovely little girls.  I am and always have been a tomboy.  This was obviously always going to give me conflicting feelings.

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You know as a parent you want to be open so that you don’t project too much onto your children, you want as much as possible to provide a safe and secure environment to allow them to flourish.

PINK. PINK. PINK. No matter what I tell people (I flippin’ hate pink in case that wasn’t obvious) I still get bombarded with it, thankfully no one has bought one of them a tutu yet.  I know I shouldn’t be quite so ‘rahhhh’ about it, but its hard.  The media today aswell as the shops seem to force our girls to be grown up so much quicker…the make up, the clothes the ridiculous cartoons and stories where all the female protagonists are bloody fairies, movie stars and other useless or whimsical characters.

I am, for the first time in a very very long time going bare on my toe nails this summer because my little Bean is noticing and then copying everything I do, and I am not ready for her two year old toes to be varnished, Just no. I have to fight to get her into a dress, I did it once and she hated it so I won’t be doing it again…am I secretly pleased that she hates dresses and pink? Yes, no doubt about it, I love the fact that she loves to play in the mud, outside digging about to find Mummy worms.  And as for Bites, she’s still letting us know what she’s all about but I will say this – she is already pretty feisty!

Am I dreading the inevitable ‘Princess’ stage? Hell yes. Will I deny either of them a poxy princess dress if that is what they want and it puts a smile on their lovely faces? No. Of course not.  All we can do for our daughters is be strong female role models and make sure they know there is more to it all than being pretty.  Every night at bedtime I tell my babies that they are Funny, Clever, Beautiful and Special, I hope this sinks in and helps them remain confident in themselves as they get older.  Having these two young minds makes you suddenly much more aware of how you behave, I am starting to have a much healthier body image of myself because I don’t want them to grow up with body issues, I firmly believe that me being confident in myself will help them – I never once as a child remember my Mum ever moaning about her bum or worrying about chipping nail varnish or even putting make up on, she was ALWAYS jumping right in ready to have fun at a moments notice whether that was going on an epic bike ride or playing football and do you know what?  She is still running about like a loon now, my nephews actually said to her “Your not like our other nanny, she’s old. Your not, your fun”
And that is how I want my girls to see me, and behave.  They have the rest of their lives to worry about hair and make up and all that goes with it, please please just be girls for a little bit longer.

COWS

Bean, Jojo minutes old, My Mum, Nan and Bites, Bean and her friend, My Mum assisting in the delivery of JoJo (!) and Bean

Inspired by a post on Katy Hill’s new blog…and yes I was inspired by her fearless-ness in her Blue Peter days 🙂

 

Things I NEVER seem to get round to doing.

Sigh.

Its not just me is it?  I have a stack of books gathering dust beside my bed, countless recipes slowly but surely passing through the holes in my brain like flour through a sieve to only be remembered via instagram, forms becoming more crumpled and dog eared and lets face it toddler fodder before I actually get round to filing them away or taking them to their destinations, photos printed but never hung and blog posts that never leave my internal notepad.

Why?

I’m tired.  Lazy and decidedly unmotivated once my youngest is asleep I just want to vegetate on the sofa but by the time I’ve made, eaten and cleaned up dinner, sorted washing (blergh) tidied toddler mayhem and attempted some quality time with the husband its into bed I collapse exhausted and a stretch to have a made 10pm, I know rock and roll!

How do I find that elusive balance so I can get some me time? I always start with such grand plans but every eventuality ends up with me lying in bed frustrated because I’ve

failed

again.  Or as seems to be the case more and more over the last fortnight feeling like a terrible mother.  I find myself being short and angry, which obviously doesn’t help when dealing with little people, I’d go so far as to say it actually makes the situation worse…big time.  And yet I struggle to stop myself and at the end of the day berrate myself to the point of loathing.

I can’t stand to feel like this anymore my children deserve better and think I do to.  I am going to try my utmost to get that balance, I need it and ultimately my family need me to find it to so I can get back to being a good Mum.

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Look at them? They deserve a good Mummy.

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And these recipes need writing!!

Just A Mum.

What a horrible thing to say right? Do you think anyone ever said that to Einsteins Mum, or Bill Gates’ Mum?

Yet, people will say this to women who decide to be a Stay At Home Mum.  And you know the worst bit, most of the people who say that will be other women.  I could write a WHOLE post on that subject, but I won’t…Well, not today anyway.

Continue reading

Working Girl

Why do we (women, sorry for the generalisations but I’m going on experiences here) struggle to be pleased for each other when things are going well?

I went into work for the day last week and was chuffed to find a colleague had been given a new role in the company – a much, much needed organisation type role and she literally could not be more perfect for the position. Finally I thought to myself, thinking everyone would think the same.

Wrong.

She’s rubbing it in my face

She asked for a title, wouldn’t do it without one

Doing my head in talking about it all the time

Jealousy? Bitterness? I don’t know, I was just so dissapoined, especially as I had been in a similar situation a few years back when I was the only women ever on a male dominated firm/industry to get such a decent promotion & perks package…were my other girlie collegues happy for me? Were they fuck.

I knew you were liked, I didn’t realise howmuch

errm, actually I’m just pretty dammed awesome at my job, but thanks for the cynicism muchly appreciated.

And it happens all the time. I want my daughter to grow up and know that she can achieve anything she sets her mind to and that I will be with her and supporting her 110%, but I’m just going to be her Mum.

It’s bad enough that women are still on a different pay scale to men, but when we can’t even support each other how can we really moan about this, we need to believe in each other completely and the and only then will everything else follow.

Normal.

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I’m a tad worried about what my gorgeous girl is gonna think about normal, you base your assumptions of “Normal”
On your family, right?
Oh dear.

I’ve always hated that word anyway.