What a horrible thing to say right? Do you think anyone ever said that to Einsteins Mum, or Bill Gates’ Mum?
Yet, people will say this to women who decide to be a Stay At Home Mum. And you know the worst bit, most of the people who say that will be other women. I could write a WHOLE post on that subject, but I won’t…Well, not today anyway.
I’ve been back to work for ooooo 3 weeks now, and I am getting back into the swing of things I still feel a bit disjointed working part-time, and I miss my girl so much – I miss knowing when she’s sleeping, what she’s eating, I even miss her pooey nappies (it’s the control freak in me, I even have to go have a look if my husband changes one!) But I know she loves her childminder and all her new friends and I love that she gets to spend time with my Mum (Nanny) while I’m working.
However, a comment from my MD today made me think. I hadn’t seen him since just before I went on Maternity Leave, and he asked me “How I was finding it” and I asked if he meant Work or being a Mummy, the look on his face made it very clear he was only concerned with me being back at work, and if there had been any doubt his answer cleared it all up
“I bet you’re glad of the break, nice to get away and get some adult conversation”
Yes, that’s right mate – I would rather come and sit in this office than play with my daughter. Fool.
Now, don’t get me wrong pre-baby I could not have been anymore anti-baby, I didn’t want to be a Mum, looking back I know it’s because I was terrified of failing at it
and the responsibility BUT like many things in life until you try it, how do you know what its like and if you’re gonna rock or suck at it? Anyway, I digress. I am jealous of SAHM’s, something I once found inconceivable, how awesome must it be to spend all day with your children? That’s not to say it’s not difficult, kids are no easy audience 😉
In all honestly if ££ wasn’t such a massive factor in mine, and a lot of other people’s decisions on returning to work after babies, I think I would still have to do some kind of job, for many reasons really. One, for me, I think losing yourself in your children is equally as bad as losing yourself in your work I think its so important not to lose who you were before you had your babies – it’s what made you YOU after all and you need that more than ever when you become a parent.
Two, I couldn’t not contribute. That’s just me though, it’s not about being a kept women ita just they way I’m wired. Each to their own though.
The thing that irked me most about my MD’s statement was that I felt like he was belittling what being a Mum is, like somehow it wasn’t a valid use of someones time, bringing up a person for gods sake, that’s what being a Mum is, can you imagine what the job description for a Mum might read like?!
Hours: Full Time (24/7)
Salary: n/a (unless you count kisses and cuddles)
Must be selfless, willing to sacrifice your wants and needs (even if that means needing a wee), be on call all hours day & night, think up new games to entertain, educate, distract and amuse. Be responsible for making sure the client can relate to other individuals in group and one-to-one situations, posses the relevant knowledge and/or relevant skills to enable them to equip themselves for each stage of their development. Ensure the client becomes as emotionally stable and balanced as you can achieve. Love, wholly and unconditionally.
And that’s just for starts. It’s not easy, it’s not mundane, and it is hard – it’s not easy to explain but yet, so easy to trivialise. Being a Mum, so far for me has been by far the most awesome thing I have ever been privileged enough to do. I love it, so much, all of the little things suddenly seem the most important, the first smile, the first time their eyes follow you across the room, the first laugh. You cannot buy thatand I don’t care if I am one of those women who talk about their baby all the time, its amazing – who wouldn’t want to hear about an awesome little person?!
So there, all you SAHM’s out there – you Rock. Good for you for having the strength and courage to be a full FULL time Mum. Hardest but most rewarding job on the planet. FACT.